When the wife and I moved our family to Little Axe 27 years ago, we didn’t consider it a viable place to spend so much of our lives. Yet, with all its shortcomings, we like it here. Of course, I can understand why others wouldn’t.

For the first time, the Cleveland County Relay for Life is being held at the Little Axe High School football track, said Bryan Dupler, 2008 Relay chairman.
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“We learned about a month ago the Norman High School track would not be available due to the football field resurfacing,” Dupler said. “We set out to find a new location, and for one reason or another, all viable locations were unavailable.”

So they had to settle for nonviable Little Axe. (Perhaps Mr. Dupler doesn’t know that we now have a Sonic drive-in.) Granted, it’s not the ideal location for such an event, but shouldn’t we wait until afterwards to signal its death knell?

vi·a·ble
: capable of living
: capable of working, functioning, or developing adequately
: having a reasonable chance of succeeding

Hopefully, Mr. Dupler will be pleasantly surprised and his expectations will be exceeded. After all, hope and fighting cancer go well together.

Relay For Life®, the American Cancer Society’s signature event, is a fun-filled overnight experience designed to bring together those who have been touched by cancer. At Relay, people from within the community gather to celebrate survivors, remember those lost to cancer, and to fight back against this disease. Relay participants help raise money and awareness to support the American Cancer Society in its lifesaving mission to eliminate cancer as a major health issue. During Relay For Life ® events, teams of people gather at schools, fairgrounds, or parks and take turns walking or running laps. The events are held overnight to represent the fact that cancer never sleeps.

Maybe I’ll take two walks today.

The relay begins at 7 tonight and lasts 12 hours, wrapping up at 7 a.m. Saturday. The Little Axe High School football field — Home of the Indians — is at 2000 168th Avenue NE.

Map

This week’s award for Most Confusing Story by a Newspaper goes to Dennis Cauchon in USA Today, for his piece titled Oklahoma City swaps highway for park.

Oklahoma has a radical solution for repairing the state’s busiest highway.

Tear it down. Build a park.

The aging Crosstown Expressway — an elevated 4.5-mile stretch of Interstate 40 — will be demolished in 2012. An old-fashioned boulevard and a mile-long park will be constructed in its place.

Oklahoma City is doing what many cities dream about: saying goodbye to a highway.

And saying hello to, well… a bigger highway.

And the award for Most Inane Comment on a Most Confusing Story by a Newspaper goes to blooker:

The government and unions control mass transit in urban areas. This gives them control over your freedom of movement. Niether the government or unions (faux socialists) are to be trusted.

Which I guess is to be expected from someone who gets their news from USA Today.

Do you really want to know about money, debt and America’s credit crisis? Wall street hopes not. This 45 minute animated video shows why. Better than a semester of Econ 101.

This is getting kind of embarrassing for us Okies. The OKGazette brings me up to date:

Another day, another alleged masturbating judge.

Seriously. According to Tulsa police, Tulsa County District Judge Jesse Harris is charged with indecent exposure, in which he allegedly exposed himself in public to two women.

Imagine what the rest of the country thinks of Oklahoma and our masturbating judges. For the sake of our great state’s image, I only hope the next one caught is a woman.

The last of the few Okie preachers in the state with tax exemptions for their privately owned homes are praying for salvation.

Ardmore, OK —

Two local ministers met with the Carter County board of equalization Monday to protest County Assessor Kim Cain’s decision to end a controversial property tax exemption on ministers’ private homes. The pastoral tax exemption, which was instituted by Cain’s predecessor, Sam West, had been in effect for approximately 14 years.

Although the state exempts certain church-owned parsonages from property taxes, the law doesn’t necessarily allow ministers to shield their private residences from ad valorem taxes. No other counties in the state offer a pastoral tax exemption.

This reminds me of some guys I used to work with who got ordained for tax purposes. It lasted about a year before IRS agents showed up.

Of course, there are other perks:

It is a little known fact:

The Ministry pays very well. As an Ordained Minister, You and your Ministry can become very wealthy. Wealth to do with what God wants.
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OVER 20 MILLION MINISTERS ORDAINED SINCE 1959!

You will become part of the Clergy, entitling you to Clergy discounts on everything from Dry Cleaning Bills to Airline Tickets.

If you prefer, you can also wear the traditional white collar, or not, its up to you.

God really does provide for those who do his work and spread his word.

And that’s just the beginning. Oh, here’s the ending:

Disclaimer:

I am not a lawyer, and cannot give legal advice, this is only my opinion. You must check your local laws and/or consult a Qualified Legal Professional. As a Minister you are required to know the laws of your state. click on “Marriage Laws” button at the top of the page.

Amen.

Their smuggler probably told these folks, driving to work in Tennessee, not to stop in Oklahoma.

“I asked the driver to show me his driver’s license, and he showed me his Mexican voting card.”

And kudos to the ad targeting software used by the Muskogee Phoenix. However, I think some folks may be disappointed to find new Ford pickups only have a seating capacity of 6.

When you look at a McCain vs. Obama election 10,000 different ways, this is what you get:

Obama wins 2,196 times (plus he gets the 99 ties), and McCain wins 7,705 times. Obama now has a 22.9% probability of winning a general election (held now) and McCain has a 77.1% probability of winning.

Oklahoma comes in at 60% for McCain and 40% Obama; which seems about right to me.

Thankfully, there’s only one election. That is unless there’s a tie.

As directed by the 12th Amendment, the 435 — many of them brand new — members of the House of Representatives would find as their first official duty the selection of the next President of the United States. “Welcome to Congress!”

Unlike the Electoral College system, where larger population equals more votes, each state in the House gets exactly one (1) vote when selecting the president.

But the Senate wouldn’t be left out.

As the House is selecting the new president, the Senate is busy selecting the new vice-president. In the Senate, each of the 100 Senators gets one vote, with a simple majority — 51 — Senators required to select the vice-president. Unlike it does on the House, the 12th Amendment places no time limit on the Senate’s selection of a vice president.

Considering the Senate… ah heck, who needs a vice president anyway.

Teen Depression Worsened by Marijuana, Government Says

One 16-year study showed that individuals who were not depressed and then used marijuana were four times more likely to be depressed at follow-up…

But…

Data linking alcohol to depression is much stronger and alcohol use by teens is greater than marijuana use…

Even worse:

The study also showed that those who were not depressed when first surveyed and then used opioids were 228 times more likely to be depressed at follow-up…

It’s almost enough to make you want to move to Utah with the drug averse Mormons.

Antidepressant drugs are prescribed in Utah more often than in any other state, at a rate nearly twice the national average.
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Utah’s rate of antidepressant use was twice the rate of California and nearly three times the rates in New York and New Jersey, the study showed.

That’s a lot of antidepressants, considering:

Doctors last year wrote 232.7 million prescriptions for antidepressants, more than any other therapeutic class of medication, according to the latest data from IMS Health, a market research firm. That represents an increase of 25 million prescriptions since 2003 and translates into an estimated 30 million patients in the United States who spent $12 billion on antidepressants in 2007.

And the results?

Real Risks of Antidepressants

Physical symptoms. …insomnia, rashes, headaches, joint and muscle pain, stomach upset, nausea, or diarrhea.

Bleeding problems. …reduced blood clotting capacity that increases risk for stomach or uterine bleeding.

Sexual effects. …diminish sexual interest, desire, performance, satisfaction, or all four.

And a few other side effects:

FDA Public Health Advisory
Worsening Depression and Suicidality in Patients Being Treated With Antidepressant
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Another Shooter With A History Of Anti-depressant Use
Killer is latest in long line of young men with history of psychiatric drugs treatment for depression and ADHD.

Ya know, this makes marijuana depression sound not so bad after all.

Since 9/11, we here in Little Axe take terrorism prevention very serious.

And before you turn me in, I didn’t stop to take this photo. It was more of a pause. And I was stooping.

You have to give credit to the majority of Oklahoma’s congressional delegation for the willingness to take tough positions against publicly popular legislation. Four out of our five Representatives had the balls (including Mary Fallin) to reconsider a resolution honoring America’s mothers.

H. Res. 1113

Whereas Mother’s Day is celebrated on the second Sunday of each May;

Whereas the first official Mother’s Day was observed on May 10, 1908, in Grafton, West Virginia, and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania;

Whereas 2008 is the 100th anniversary of the first official Mother’s Day observation;

Whereas in 1908, Elmer Burkett, a U.S. Senator from Nebraska, proposed making Mother’s Day a national holiday;

Whereas in 1914, Congress passed a resolution designating the second Sunday of May as Mother’s Day;

Whereas it is estimated that there are more than 82,000,000 mothers in the United States;

Whereas mothers have made immeasurable contributions toward building strong families, thriving communities, and ultimately a strong Nation;

Whereas the services rendered to the children of the United States by their mothers have strengthened and inspired the Nation throughout its history;

Whereas we honor ourselves and mothers in the United States when we revere and emphasize the importance of the role of the home and family as the true foundation of the Nation;

Whereas mothers continue to rise to the challenge of raising their families with love, understanding, and compassion, while overcoming the challenges of modern society; and

Whereas May 11, 2008 is recognized as Mother’s Day: Now, therefore, be it

Resolved, That the House of Representatives celebrates the role of mothers in the United States and supports the goals and ideals of Mother’s Day.

For the record:
- 5/7/2008 2:11pm: Resolution considered
- 5/7/2008 2:19pm: Agreed to by recorded vote: 412 - 0 (Roll no. 274)

Just as I expected, no opposition. Now, perhaps Congress can consider more pressing issues.

- 5/7/2008 2:20pm: Mr. Tiahrt moved to reconsider the vote.

Say what? The vote was unanimous! What’s to reconsider; the celebration of Mothers Day, or supporting the goals and ideals?

Then, wouldn’t you know it, a congresswomen, who just happens to also be a mother, moves to table the motion to reconsider.

- 5/7/2008 2:20pm: Ms. Castor moved to table the motion to reconsider the vote

So then the fight begins over support of motherhood.

- 5/7/2008 2:27pm: On motion to table the motion to reconsider the vote Agreed to by recorded vote: 237 - 178 (Roll no. 275)

Aye - Boren
No - Cole, Fallin, Lucas, Sullivan

In fact, all 178 noes were Republicans. But they did have their reasons:

Republicans, unhappy with the Democratic majority, have been using such procedural tactics as this all week to bring the House to a standstill, but the assault on mothers may have gone too far. House Minority Leader John Boehner, asked yesterday to explain why he and 177 of his colleagues switched their votes, answered: “Oh, we just wanted to make sure that everyone was on record in support of Mother’s Day.”

By voting against it?

Lucky for people with mothers that Republicans aren’t in the majority. Still, I’m not holding my breath on a Father’s Day this year.

PETA’s latest ad is too graphic for some television stations to air; something about little girls and dead dogs.

Oklahoma City - PETA’s new TV ad, which lays the blame for the deaths of countless “pound pups” squarely at the feet of pet stores and breeders, will hit the Oklahoma City airwaves on Monday.

KOCO-TV will air the ad during Monday’s Oprah Winfrey show.

Preview here

Disclosure - Our dogs, and cats (and kids) are mixed breeds.

There are primarily three reasons why my optimism and expectations have lessened through the years: Democrats, Republicans and Microsoft. However, I continue to vote, and I just installed Windows XP Service Pack 3.

With just a few days from its official release, the Windows XP Service Pack 3 is already receiving a large number of post-installation complaints.

Apparently, the up-date causes a series of problems, from random blue-screens to continuous reboots.

Hey, don’t think I’m a total knucklehead; I’m not running Vista, yet. (Not that I have anything against knuckleheads and Vista users.)

Creative Endeavors has Mothers Day advice for husbands.
Mickey’ Musings defends economists.
outside oklahoma shows her hot cycling scars.
Yet Another Small Town Moment raises the glass ceiling for little girls.
The Militant Moderate thinks Oklahoma fiscal policy could be worse.
Okie Funk see’s Gaylord’s ghost.
Oklahoma Lefty: in the name of God.
bee-spot is full of love and hate.
iSpeak handicaps Oklahoma politics.
CycleDog prefers 80% nitrogen in his tires.
All Along the Hightower lays down the law on marriage.
Blissful Anonymity whines about whiney men.
OKC Eatz Oklahoma City.
Wanderlust is inspired by Paine.
MarkShannon.com wants the truth about purchasing the OKC GM plant.

Norman photographer Shane Brown took some pictures of me yesterday. Judging by samples of his work photographing other Okies, I’m kind of nervous to see what he comes up with.

Lucky for me my superhero costume was at the cleaner.

There’s a foul mouth Okie blogger I rarely visit, and he happens to operate the last known AOL journal/blog left in existence. The guy’s so technically challenged that he still worries about the Y2K bug. And to top it off, he wonders why he doesn’t get more comments. Yet, his obtrusive comment policy requires a credit card number and two forms of photo ID.

I’d link to the blog, but you wouldn’t like it. Though I don’t really know him, he worships me, so I throw him a bone once in a while. Today’s bone is the use of Okiedoke’s cutting edge comment system. Below is his latest post. Please consider leaving a word or two in the comment area, even if you don’t mean it, just to show that the most pitiful, obscure bloggers deserve something for their effort. Thanks.

Good Fellas
What do you want in life? You know, what do you want to be when you grow up? It’s the question we deal with in life from the age of three or when ever some overachieving *ucker [edited] decides it’s time you map out a life plan. You know what those smug *astids [edited] never ask? They never ask WHO you want to be! They never ask what kind of a person do you want to be as an adult.

I was in church the other day and some old wrinkled fossil teeters down the aisle at a snails pace. Since I was in my good clothes and couldn’t crawl over the backs of those wooden benches, I had to wait on his slow *ss [edited] while everybody there greeted him with smiles and warm hand shakes. *amn [edited] near exactly as they had greeted me! One of the Wal-Mart Greeters they use at the Church to hand out playbills, leaned over and engaged me in conversation after greeting the old turtle. Evidently he saw we had lots of time to bond since Speedy was zipping between the pews at a lightening pace.

“Can you believe him?” the greeter asked. “He’s 95 years old and comes to church every Sunday. He used to be the manager of the gas refinery. Good fella!”

Nearly a century on this planet and thousands of employees engaged doing hard dangerous work (I know, I’ve seen Urban Cowboy) and he is summed up with a satisfied smile and the long earned name as a “Good fella.” So as I stood there staring at my watch and wondering if the Minister would *lick [edited] the lights before starting the Sunday morning show, I absently wondered about the timeline of old Methuselah, as I overtly ignored Mr. “Thank you for shopping Presbyterian.” How many men had he fired? Had he ever crushed the hopes and dreams of young men not cut out to work refinery jobs? Did he lose sleep over the 8 year industrial clean up to remove the toxins from the center of our town after the refinery shut down? Did he cry when he laid off hundreds of employees when the plant was closed?

And you know what? None of it mattered, because everybody in that church knew him. He was a fixture in their lives as well as a part of the community. He did his job, he did his best for his family and he did it with an entire community watching. He was known to those that matter, and to those that matter he was known as a “Good fella.” And THAT is who he is and how he will always be remembered.

I couldn’t help but share in the pride of having the privilege of knowing - old what’s his name - as he advanced down towards his family pew in the center of the church at a glaciers pace. And because I drank of his koolaide I can’t help but think I am now a better person for it.

What do you think?